Old fear and new fearlessness

“Before we go to Culver's I need to got to the bathroom” I stated to my daughter one of the more understatedly dressed girls in the room filled with parents and girls from the choir.
“We can go out that door” gestured my daughter. I felt relived that she was indicating she would go with me the thought of going into a High School bathroom filled with middle-school age girl frightened me.

There were not many girls in the bathroom when we arrived. They gave me a quick glance and I saw in their eyes a note of trepidation. I was the grown up in the room and that thought was funny to me. If I did not have to pee as much as I did I would have laughed. I listened to them from inside the stall give each other dressing tips and make up tips. It was funny to see these girl young enough to be mine  talking and doing things that I did 28-30 years ago. Their presence still stirred a note of fear in the pit of my stomach. I waited for the talk to drift out the door before I left my stall surprised to find my daughter outside washing her hands already.

When we pulled in to the Culver’s lot we noticed a number of the same girls already there as well as some of the boys. More were in side their parents scattered around the restaurant sitting at the less full tables. We were joined by the mother. We chatted about her daughters and frequently looked for hers and were interrupted by the screams of young teen age girl. We confessed how we found these groups of girl intimidating. Funny how at 40 we find 13-year-old girls scary. Was our experience so dreadful that we fear them or fear for our daughter? It is hard to say and I am not wanting to spend enough time with them to find out.

My daughter a young one at 11 still wants to be with her Mom and joined in the conversation. She was not bothered by the girls screaming and running about but she sees this every day. I admire her fearlessness and hope that my fear does not interfere with it.